Coping With Relapse: A Buddhist Perspective

Relapse can be frustrating and discouraging, and can lead to feelings of self-doubt, or feeling like all of our previous work has been undone. From a Buddhist perspective, setbacks are part of the path to growth. We must learn to cultivate self-compassion, mindfulness, and acceptance while finding renewed motivation to continue within our journeys.

1. Reflection: Observing Without Judgment

Buddhism teaches mindful awareness—acknowledging thoughts and emotions without judgment.

Take a moment to reflect on your most recent relapse.

What emotions did I feel after my relapse? (e.g., shame, guilt, disappointment, frustration)
What thoughts ran through my mind?
How did I respond to my relapse? Did I show myself kindness or self-criticism?

Now, reframe your experience using non-judgmental awareness:

Instead of saying, “I failed,” can I say, “I encountered a challenge on my path”?
Instead of saying, “I’m weak,” can I say, “I am learning resilience through struggle”?

2. The Middle Way: Avoiding Extremes

The Buddha taught the Middle Way, which avoids both self-indulgence and harsh self-punishment.

Discussion:

In what ways have I been too hard on myself?
Have I ever used relapse as an excuse to give up entirely?
How can I practice self-compassion while still staying accountable for my actions?

Action Step:

Write a self-compassion statement that acknowledges your struggle but encourages self-kindness. Example:

"I acknowledge that I am struggling, and that is part of being human. I choose to respond to myself with patience and kindness."

3. Impermanence: This Too Shall Pass

Buddhism teaches impermanence (anicca)—all things, including suffering and cravings, are temporary.

Exercise: Think of a past craving or strong emotion that once felt overwhelming but eventually faded.

What was that experience like?
How long did it last?
What helped me get through it?

Remind yourself:

"Just as my past struggles have come and gone, this frustration will also pass."

4. Mindful Response: Breaking the Cycle

Instead of reacting impulsively, mindfulness helps us pause and make conscious choices.

Practice: The STOP Technique

S – Stop what you are doing.
T – Take a deep breath and ground yourself.
O – Observe your emotions and thoughts without judgment.
P – Proceed with a wise, intentional choice.

5. Sangha (Community) Support

In Buddhism, Sangha (community) is essential for growth. You are not alone in this journey.

Writing Activity:

How has my support system helped me in recovery?
Who in my life can I turn to when I struggle?
How can I be more open to receiving help?

To keep our meditation practice alive and fresh, we must be active in a Sangha community meeting at least once per week. Listed below are a few resources:

Refuge Recovery.org

Dharma Recovery

Plumvillage.org

Blue Cliff Monastery.org (see upcoming retreats for this summer) Pinebush, NY

Cambridge Zen Center

Providence Zen Center